Captain Conflict Discovers Therapy Buzzwords ....And Becomes Emotionally Fluent Overnight
From the diary of Captain Conflict:
I have recently discovered therapy language.
This is exciting, because it turns out you don’t need self-awareness — you just need the right words.
I would like to thank the internet, that book about my body, a podcast I half-listened to, and chatGPT.
On My Sudden Emotional Literacy
I now use words like:
regulation
attachment
emotional safety
nervous system
boundaries
trauma-informed
co-regulation
I do not fully understand these words.
But I use them confidently.
This is important.
How I Use These Words with CPS
When speaking to Child Services, I sprinkle these terms generously.
Example:
“I’m concerned about the child’s nervous system dysregulation after exposure to maternal conflict.”
Translation:
She cried for her mother and I didn’t like it.
Another example:
“I’m prioritising emotional safety.”
Translation:
I would like this to go my way.
Attachment: My Favourite One
I say I am deeply concerned about attachment.
This is interesting, given that for several years I was largely absent.
But attachment, I’ve learned, is not about presence.
It’s about tone.
I use a very calm tone.
Trauma-Informed Parenting
I am now trauma-informed.
This means:
I acknowledge trauma exists
I believe it happened somewhere
Possibly near the mother
I do not believe it happened due to me.
Boundaries (Now Rebranded)
I told CPS that one of my biggest regrets is not being clearer about my boundaries in the relationship.
This is growth.
Please ignore that during the relationship I repeatedly told her:
her boundaries weren’t real & she needed to explain them better
she was always the problem
different versions of events to confuse her, and even when she provided audio evidence of what I said, I pretended I didn't say that (nothing like some denial to win a fight)
not agreeing with me was “bullying”
Growth is circular.
Co-Regulation (A Technical Term)
I say the child struggles with co-regulation.
This is true.
The child regulates just fine —
until I become dysregulated by disagreement.
Parallel Parenting, But Make It Clinical
I now say:
“Parallel parenting supports emotional containment.”
What I mean is:
I do not want to be challenged, corrected, or questioned.
But this sounds better.
Authority Through Vocabulary
Using therapy words makes me feel authoritative.
Professionals nod.
I nod back.
We are all nodding.
No one asks follow-up questions.
This system works very well.
In Conclusion
Therapy language is powerful.
You can:
sound insightful without insight
appear accountable without accountability
gain authority without history
All you need is confidence and the right buzzwords.
Self-reflection optional.
If you laughed and then immediately felt uneasy —
that’s not because it’s exaggerated.
It’s because you’ve heard this voice before.
I use to tell my ex "let's get a dictionary to see what that word means"
Honest to god - he would say "I don't care what the dictionary says, this word means this to me" 🤯
They say don't argue with stupid...
It should be "don't argue with a narc"
And once you realize that then the only option is to leave... physically, or mentally..... you must leave as there is no other way.
