Captain Conflict: Season 3 – The Man, The Myth, The Misunderstood Spreadsheet
Streaming exclusively in your nightmares (and court filings), Season 3 kicks off with a vengeance—and a vengeance spreadsheet.
Because nothing says "I'm emotionally stable" like 47 tabs titled “How to Financially Ruin Her (Final Final - USE THIS ONE).xlsx”
Captain Conflict is back—and more irrational than ever.
Back for another season of gaslighting, financial warfare, and Excel-based revenge fantasies, Captain Conflict returns—fresh off a failed attempt to weaponize child support and a deeply personal vendetta against logic.
Featuring:
👩⚖️ Ilka van der Blame: The Lawyer Who Regrets Everything
At first, she thought he was just a difficult client.
Then he started forwarding 3am screenshots of his ex’s Instagram stories annotated with “is this admissible??” and ranting about how parenting is “a competition he must win.”
Now, Ilka just nods, smiles, and discreetly opens a new tab for Net-a-Porter.
“He’s insufferable,” she mutters, clicking ‘Add to Cart’ on a Fendi tote.
“But he’s billable.”
Every delusional monologue about freezing assets = a new pair of Louboutins.
Every court document riddled with projection = another silk scarf for the trauma.
And every email CC’d to ten people titled “URGENT—HER LIES” = one step closer to that crocodile Birkin she swore she'd never splurge on.
She doesn’t defend him. She invoices him.
Episode Highlights Include:
“The $70K Meltdown” – He gets the house, the cash hits her account, and he spirals into his villain origin story over WhatsApp. Again.
“Call With Ilka (Leaked Audio):”
“I don’t care if our daughter ends up in a tent—if my ex has more than €12 in her account, I have failed.”
Ilka sighs, pours herself a glass of wine, and starts mentally pairing her new Celine bag with courtroom outfits.“Spreadsheet Warfare: The Saga Continues” – With tabs like “Custody_TakeBack_PLAN” and “FreezeHerSoul_Beta1,” Captain Conflict proves once again that if obsession were a career, he’d be CEO of Petty International.
Meanwhile, Anna?
She’s unbothered, sipping her almond milk latte, letting karma and court orders do the talking.
She used to cry in this courtroom.
Now she walks in like it’s fashion week in Paris and her ex is just background noise to the soundtrack of her comeback.
Coming soon:
Captain Conflict: Season 4 – “He’s Suing Her Therapist for Making Her Too Mentally Stable.”
And don’t miss the mid-season twist:
Captain Conflict files a case against common sense.
Ilka pleads with him to stop.
He replies, “Don’t worry, I’ve added three more tabs to the spreadsheet.”
Binge now.
Because karma doesn’t always knock quietly.
Sometimes she struts in wearing red-bottoms, sipping champagne, and dragging a Louis Vuitton duffle full of receipts.
