Captain Conflict’s Custody Journal Jan
Private thoughts. Public performance pending.
Dear Journal,
Big day today. Court soon.
Time to remind everyone that I am, and always have been, an exceptional father.
This is exciting, because up until recently I wasn’t aware of this myself.
On My Parenting History
Some people like to nitpick about the “first 4 years.”
Personally, I consider those years more of a soft launch.
A beta version. Parenting 0.1.
Sure, I didn’t do night feeds, school runs, sick days, or emotional regulation.
But in my defence, I was very busy having opinions.
Also, I was present in spirit.
Which is honestly underrated.
On the Pregnancy
People keep bringing up the abortion thing.
Let’s clear this up.
I didn’t want an abortion.
I merely suggested it. Repeatedly. Calmly. Practically.
Out of concern. For myself.
This has no relevance to my current belief that I should have full custody.
People change.
On Mothering
I have recently realised the mother is… problematic.
Not because she harmed the child.
But because she disagrees with me.
She insists on things like routines, emotional safety, and listening to the child’s feelings.
Which feels excessive.
Also, she remembers things.
I find that very hostile.
On My Sudden Deep Involvement
Yes, I am now extremely involved.
This happened naturally, the moment other people started watching.
I attend things now.
I say words like “attachment.”
I refer to myself as “primary.”
It feels correct.
On Control (Sorry, “Concern”)
I am not controlling.
I am simply very invested in:
knowing where everyone is at all times
approving all decisions
being consulted before reality happens
This is what good fathers do.
Apparently.
On the Child’s Feelings
The child’s feelings are important.
As long as they align with my narrative.
If they don’t, it’s probably because the mother influenced them, or the weather, or a tone I didn’t like in an message.
Children are very suggestible.
Especially when they express preferences.
On Court
In court, I will speak slowly and confidently.
I will say:
“I’ve always prioritised my child”
“I just want what’s best”
“I’m deeply concerned”
These sentences work very well.
Evidence is optional.
Confidence is key.
Final Reflection
It’s incredible how much I’ve grown.
From:
Not wanting this child
Not raising this child
Not showing up for this child
To:
Wanting full custody of this child
Honestly, inspiring.
If this doesn’t work, I can always say I feel attacked.
Yours faithfully,
Captain Conflict
Father of the Century (Retroactively)
